As a parent, you raise your children with the expectation that one day, down the line, they'll leave the nest. For many parents, it's expected that the kids will be out of the house not too long after they finish high school.
However, what happens if they don't pack their things and go?
One Dad Took To Reddit For Some Advice
This father explained that his 24-year-old daughter had moved back in with him and her mother recently.
As a student, she had previously been living on her own since she was 19.
She's A Graduate Student
Extenuating circumstances made her terminate her lease and return home while she was still completing a graduate degree at a nearby college.
She's been very focused over the past while on completing her thesis.
She Does Work At The University As Well
As a graduate student, she also gets paid to work as a teaching assistant for a course.
However, despite her being paid hourly based on how much time she devotes to the work, she only gets paid in a lump sum at the end of each semester for her work.
Her Lack Of Monthly Income Became A Problem For Her Father
Since she's a fully grown woman, this father believed that it only makes sense for her to pay rent, saying, "I can't have a grown adult woman stay in my house rent-free."
However, since she's not paid on a monthly basis, she hasn't been able to give him the rent money on time.
He Confronted Her About It
When he did mention that she was late on the rent, she expressed that she was trying her best but she's extremely overwhelmed.
Between juggling her own academic work and the teaching assistant duties, she's spread pretty thin.
He Was Less Than Compassionate
Rather than empathize with her situation, the father said that teaching assistant duties "are not a real job."
Instead, he suggested that she find other work to help make up the rent on time.
She Became Visibly Upset
His daughter started crying and tried to explain that the lump sum from her work would be enough to cover her rent and student loan payments, but she just didn't have the money yet.
Her mother also stood by her and said that her husband was being insensitive.
The Mom Made Some Good Points
In response, the mom pointed out that it's not like she was just wasting time on video games or stupid things — their daughter was working hard.
Between writing her thesis and all the T.A. work, the mom noticed their daughter was only getting 4–5 hours of sleep nightly and was clearly exhausted. The husband said it couldn't be that clear if he had not noticed it.
People Were Not On His Side The Comments
Most people thought that the father was clearly being greedy by demanding her to pay him monthly.
It's not like she never intended to pay: She just didn't have the means to do it then.
Others Pointed Out That He Was Being Super Unreasonable
It seems like this father was so caught up on the idea of what he was owed that he wasn't willing to compromise or take his daughter's particular situation into account.
Money has a way of poisoning even the healthiest family bonds, and it can get messy quick. We just hope that after Reddit told him he was in the wrong, he sorted himself out and took a more reasonable approach.
He Saw The Error Of His Ways...Sort Of
After a thorough dressing down by Reddit, the father returned to concede that he had been unfair to his daughter. He also clarified that he wasn't charging rent out of greed, but rather due to what he saw as the principle of the matter.
As he said, "At her age, I was already out of the house, in a steady relationship ect. Although I didn't attend University like she's doing. We live in South Africa, not the US. We take traditions very serious and I'm a conservative father. But I get that it's different times now, and I'll have a talk with her and apologize."
Commenters Actually Respected Him Even Less For This
If he expected this response to get commenters to see his point of view, he was likely surprised to discover that they only saw him as more of an unlikeable hypocrite.
As one user named lexi_the_leo put it, "Your daughter is working a million times harder than you were at her age. If the pandemic didn't make her lose funding for research/bills, she wouldn’t even be living with you and you’d be playing the "super proud father" card." As an additional crushing blow, they said he was wrong for not respecting his daughter's work ethic, which she "obviously" didn't get from him.