You can try to read every parenting book that has ever published, babysit to practice, attend weekly pre-baby courses, and get advice from other parents... and still not be prepared in any way, shape, or form when the baby does really come.
Kids will continue to surprise you and leave you baffled. All you can do is try your best and laugh at the mistakes.
If You Want Something Done Right, Do It Yourself
"Once upon a time, I sent my daughter and my husband off to buy her some nice new clothes."
Clearly, the daughter is too young to understand fashion, and the dad's priorities of what makes a good outfit rely more on humor than efficiency. This was a bad combination to send off together.
Two Birds With One Stone
This is actually an accident waiting to happen.
It may seem like you're winning and have cracked the parenting thing until the baby falls off the swing and you're too far to catch them on time.
There's Never A Good Time To Eat
"The only way my 3 day-old daughter would fall asleep. After two hours of carrying her around I got hungry."
When you have a baby, it's not uncommon to forget about yourself and your basic needs, like eating.
Potty Training Is No Easy Task
You don't only need to worry about where your child is going to relieve themselves next, but now you also have to wonder if they're going to get stuck inside of the potty.
There's nothing in the parenting books to prepare you for all the places they could get stuck.
A Slight Mix Up
His mom mixed up pajama day and picture day. Clearly, the kid was not impressed, but it's hard keeping up with all these made school holidays.
At least they're cute Spongbob pajamas!
They Say Kids Follow By Example
We wonder who they learned this from watching. This 8-year-old son built Lego bars with drunk patrons.
At eight years old, we didn't even know what alcohol was yet, let alone the meaning of being drunk at a bar.
This Was Not In The Parenting Book
"Mom, he's too hot and he needs a fan." Imagine waking up to this. The kid's got a point though, animals have a heat threshold too.
It just would have been helpful if he had asked first.
When Life Hits You In The Face...
When life hits you in the face, do not use your child as a barrier. It should definitely be the other way around.
At least this time the hit was by a soft, cushioned ball.
Don't Let Kids Dress Themselves
"I let my toddler dress herself. She's wearing a cupcake."
What he forgot is a kid that young doesn't feel limited by clothes to dress themselves. That's something the fashion industry later conditions us into.
To Infinity And Beyond
It's nerve-wracking looking at this picture and still being unsure if the kid lands in the pool water or if he was thrown a little too far to still make it in.
The look on his face doesn't help.
In The Spirit Of The Holidays
"Accidentally sent my son to school with his newly bought ugly Christmas sweater. Didn't realize what Santa was doing until his kindergarten teacher pointed it out when I picked him up."
It could have been worse. At least this is a natural thing that everyone does.
An Attempted Educational Field Trip
"My friend had her daughters at a zoo when she heard, 'Ma'am, there's a lemur on your baby.'"
What do you even do at that point? That lemur looks like it's claimed the baby as its own.
Don't Trust Anyone Else With Your Kid
"My little brother's parenting experience in a nutshell." If you haven't had a kid yourself, then babysitting is a foreign experience and something is absolutely guaranteed to go wrong.
But guess who is still getting the blame? Not the babysitter.
When The Bed's Just Too Far
By the time you finally put your child to bed, you might not have even an ounce of energy left to go put yourself to bed.
At that point, any flat surface will do.
"Four-Year-Old Curiosity"
The real question is who's hair is that? If it's the daughter's it's nothing some cute bucket hats can't fix.
If it's the mom's however... let's hope she doesn't mind pulling off a short do for a change.