Planning a wedding can be extremely chaotic. Couples have to organize details ranging from the venue, to the menu, to the guest list, and everything in between. There are endless amounts of things that could go sideways on the big day, but one constant remains true for a lot of weddings: The bride's father often plays an important role.
When the father of the bride is not at the wedding, it's usually for a pretty serious reason, or because he's no longer alive to be there with the family. One bride had to deal with the absence of her father at her wedding, not because he had passed on, but because he chose to attend someone else's wedding that day—her own stepsister's.
This Father Asked His Question Anonymously To Find Out If He Was In The Wrong
An anonymous father took to a popular thread on Reddit to admit his controversial decision to attend his stepdaughter's wedding over his own daughter's.
He asked the community whether he was in the wrong, and most people online were quick to let him know that they did not support him but rather sided with his daughter.
He Missed The Majority Of His Daughter's Wedding
He starts his post by asking if he was wrong for missing most of his daughter's wedding after it was scheduled a day after his stepdaughter's wedding—exactly 13 hours away.
There's clearly some pre-existing family drama at play here that resulted in both weddings being scheduled the same weekend—a tough spot for any father to be in.
His Daughter Has Always Resented Her Stepsister
The dad goes on to explain that his daughter has "always been resentful of my stepdaughter and growing up, we've had to deal with a lot of issues related to this resentment."
It's obvious that there was an existing competition element in the relationship between his daughter and stepdaughter that started earlier in childhood.
He Raised His Stepdaughter Like His Own Since She Was Two
He continues to offer details on some of the more complicated family dynamics that the girls grew up with:
"The unfortunate reality was that my ex and I had shared custody, so naturally, I saw my daughter less than my stepdaughter. My stepdaughter's biological father passed away and I've treated her like my own since she was two."
His Daughter Accused Him Of Favoring Her Stepsibling
He insists that he always treated both girls equally as he raised them, but admits that his biological daughter has frequently "accused" him of favoring her stepsibling.
It's possible that his daughter's attempts to communicate with him became more accusatory if she felt like her feelings were being brushed off or dismissed.
The Brides Planned Their Weddings On The Same Weekend In Different States
Fast-forward a little bit and his daughters decide to give him a definitive choice to make—they scheduled their weddings for the same weekend.
It's hard to say whether the battling brides did it on purpose. He explains: "In 2019, my stepdaughter sent out a save the date for her wedding for a Saturday in September. My daughter immediately called me, furious and accusing her stepsister of deliberately planning her wedding the day before hers. My daughter sent her own save the date a week later for the Sunday on that same weekend."
The Stepdaughter Swore It Was A Coincidence
After realizing the dilemma, the conflicted dad talked to his stepdaughter who promised him it was merely a coincidence.
The stepdaughter said she didn't even talk to his daughter anymore after years of conflict. Nice of her to send a save the date to someone she "doesn't even talk to."
Both Daughters Wanted Their Dad To Walk Them Down The Aisle
Of course, the cherry on top of the dual wedding situation was the fact that his daughter's wedding was "happening in another state that is a 13-hour drive away" from his stepdaughter's wedding.
He writes that both women wanted him to walk them down the aisle—a popular wedding tradition that sees the father "give the bride away" to her partner.
The Plan Was To Drive Through The Night And Attend Both Weddings
The dad explains that he came up with a plan that would allow him to attend both weddings. Unfortunately, his plan didn't play out the way he had hoped and it had a sad result.
He planned to leave his stepdaughter's wedding at 10 p.m. and drive through the night, aiming to arrive with two hours to spare before his daughter's big day. But that's not what happened.
He Got Lost On The Drive And Missed His Daughter's Wedding
"Unfortunately, I got lost along the way, plus traffic, and I missed the actual wedding ceremony. My daughter's stepfather ended up walking her down the aisle by himself."
Let's just assume that somehow all of his GPS electronics were dead and he also didn't bring a map for a 13-hour road trip. At least she wasn't left completely alone, but it still must have been hard for her to realize he wasn't going to show up.
He Gifted Them Extra Finances To Ask For Forgiveness
In an attempt to make amends, the father gifted extra money to his daughter and her new husband for their trip to Japan.
He says: "It was a lot of money but I hoped it would be a sort of way for me to ask forgiveness." This definitely doesn't seem like the most heartfelt route.
His Daughter Still Hasn't Been Able To Forgive Him
The post continues to explain that while the couple's Japan trip has been postponed, his daughter refuses to "even consider any sort of forgiveness."
He writes: "The few times she picks up my calls always ends with her bringing up the wedding and getting angry at me again." He has also faced backlash from other members of their family who judge him for missing the wedding.
His Family And The Internet Both Declared Him In The Wrong
His post concluded by saying: "I was told by a few members of my family that I was [a jerk] for not prioritizing my biological child's wedding and skipping my stepdaughter's wedding instead."
The post generated a large discussion, and the majority of people blatantly called him out for making his biological daughter feel undervalued. He updated the post to say: "I was just trying to make two children I love happy. But maybe I should've left my stepdaughter's even earlier."
Ya think?