Witty warnings and signs guaranteed to make you laugh

Sometimes, the best part of your day is stumbling upon a sign that delivers wisdom, confusion, or hilarity. From library lunacy to public service announcements gone rogue, here’s a roundup of amusing posts and oddball signage you just can’t ignore. Let’s revel in the world’s most unexpectedly funny signs!

“Would you take the job?”

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notweirdatallll/Reddit
notweirdatallll/Reddit

This ‘job opportunity’ sounds like the start of an experimental theater troupe or a viral internet challenge. One week of bed-rest pretend-illness with three strangers? What could go wrong? The line about 'no leaving bed for any reason' might be where I quietly sneak out the back door.

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“Library sign”

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henri-golo/Reddit
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Now I genuinely want to open the library return just to witness the chaos squirrels have apparently inflicted on Keith and his lunch. Poor Keith, eternally a victim of snack-stealing rodents—or maybe just overeager readers. If I ever have to yell 'NOT A SQUIRREL' for a book drop, I’ll consider my library experience complete.

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“Slightly extended lifespan”

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Suspected_Magic_User/Reddit
Suspected_Magic_User/Reddit
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Well, that’s certainly the politest way anyone’s ever told me to put out a cigarette. Who knew a slight boost in my lifespan could come with such a side of sass? Sudden health benefits woven into an apology—I think I’ll accept with gratitude and maybe a little forced fresh air.

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“What about drinking dogs?”

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Just when you thought it couldn’t get more specific, someone makes a rule about smoking dogs. And now I’m left wondering about the wild night that inspired this sign. At least pet owners and poodles alike know exactly where the boundaries are—no ifs, ands, or barks about it.

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“Purse Bees!”

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ScrappyDooCanSuckIt/Reddit
ScrappyDooCanSuckIt/Reddit
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Finally, a crime-fighting strategy Batman would envy: decoy purses filled with bees! That’s one way to keep your valuables extra secure. The best part is imagining a thief’s face when they find out the hive is active instead of the latest iPhone.

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“Sign on a lumber business I drove by today”

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firestorm33_1/Reddit
firestorm33_1/Reddit
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That’s possibly the most honest life advice I’ve seen on a business sign. Childhood might be tough at times, but nothing preps you for the thrilling ride that is the daily grind. Cue the collective sigh of adults everywhere who are definitely not jealous of nap time.

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“Only if you are a fly”

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Noise_Loop/Reddit
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Instantly one of the most fly-specific warnings I’ve ever read. If only more signs considered the insect population’s perspective. A practical reminder to keep your hands to yourself, unless you literally have wings and compound eyes.

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“My teen lounge sign at a library”

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chinchilla94/Reddit
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Take note, grown-ups—this is not your lounge. Teen drama only, and apparently, the SpongeBob reference just ensures everyone is on the same page. ‘How many times do we have to teach you this lesson, old man?’ Never has a whiteboard seemed so fiercely protective.

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“In the Elementary School Cafeteria my grandkids attend.”

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the_voodoo_sauce/Reddit
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Never has a forbidden button begged for a push quite so loudly. The four exclamation points mean there’s definitely a story here. Willpower check, level 100. Most people won’t succeed.

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“What marketing strategy is this??”

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Neon_Blaze7/Reddit
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Now there’s an ad campaign that pulls no punches. If you can’t change one thing, at least you can embrace the other! Fitness center or cynicism bootcamp? Either way, their honesty is refreshing—if not particularly motivating.

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“Dog with a gun!”

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ScrappyDooCanSuckIt/Reddit
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Just your average backyard warning: beware the dog, he’s armed and off his meds. Suddenly dog-walking seems a little more like an action movie. Guess that’s one way to keep trespassers firmly on the sidewalk!

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“Anyone seen my neighbour's pet about?”

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Skadooshsky/Reddit
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That ‘missing pet’ sign might be the most creative (and least reassuring) in the neighborhood. Somewhere, a T. rex enthusiast is giggling. The real warning: do not make fun of its arms—or become its lunch.

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“Deaf Child Can't Hear Except Loud Music”

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Vemnox/Reddit
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Only in certain neighborhoods do you get such highly tailored traffic rules. Deaf child alerts are important, but now we know the real enemy: loud music. Apparently, local car stereos are a bigger hazard than speeding. Rock on… quietly.

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“We got ALL the ingredients!”

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durplethepragon/Reddit
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Well, now I know exactly where to go when I need… every single ingredient? This supermarket is clearly embracing efficiency with a dash of confusion. If you’re indecisive, just shop here—they apparently have it all, twice.