It's okay to admit that your parents didn't do a good job of raising you. It's even okay to admit that they hurt you and that you're still living with the consequences.
However, it's time to let go of the resentment you hold against them. It might not seem easy, but here's how you can forgive them so that you can finally be free of their bad parenting.
Tell Your Side Of The Story
There may always be two sides to the story, but right now, yours is the only one that matters. Take the time to really think about how your childhood made you feel. There is no denying that it shaped the person you are now.
Getting your story off your chest will show you that it doesn't mean you're stuck with those memories.
Take The Time To Grieve
As kids, we tend to think of our parents as authoritative figures who know best. It's okay to admit now that they're just as capable of making mistakes, and recognize the way those mistakes negatively affected you.
You won't be able to forgive your parents until you take the time to grieve for yourself, your childhood, and all the hardships they put you through.
Remember That You're In Control Now
Your parents may have always gotten the last word when you were little, but you're a full-grown adult now.
Although you can't change the past, this means that you get to choose how to react and move on from it. You're in complete control of how to live your life.
The Past Is Separate From The Present
You can blame your parents all you want for all the bad things going on in your life right now, but the past is gone and done.
You need to be able to separate it from the present. Use your past as a lesson to guide how you want to live your present.
You Can Forgive Without Forgetting
Just because you forgive them doesn't mean that you need to pretend like nothing ever happened.
Forgiveness just means letting go and not being bound by your parents' actions anymore.
It's A Way To Put Yourself First
Think of forgiveness as an act of self-love. You're giving yourself peace of mind and the freedom to not worry about your past anymore.
You'll feel lighter and be able to put yourself first. This is the first step to growth and a better, happier you!
Every Day Is A New Day
Despite how you were raised, life kept going. You grew up, and the dynamics between you and your parents changed. In fact, you might now have your own kids who have their own relationships with your parents.
Use these changes to your advantage to create new traditions and memories that you can associate more positively with your parents.
Keep Your Expectations Low
The only expectations you should have are of yourself. Don't set yourself up for more disappointment if your parents don't receive your forgiveness in the way that you hope.
Remember that you're doing this for yourself, not them.
It's Not A Linear Process
Just because you truly feel like you've forgiven them today doesn't mean that you won't feel triggered and change your mind another day.
It's a journey that won't be linear. All you can do is try to continue to let go and make the best out of your own life.
It's Your Turn To Break The Cycle
What ends up happening a lot of the time is that kids who grow up in bad homes hold resentment which they then carry into their own parenting. This only continues the bad parenting cycle.
When considering the kind of relationship you want to have with your parents moving forward, remember that forgiving them can help you to be a better parent yourself.