Raising a child is both time-consuming and expensive; however, parents often hope they will find help and support from their loved ones, such as offers to babysit every once in a while.
When this new mom had to return to work, she asked her mother to help by babysitting her child. She wasn't expecting grandma to then ask for two-thirds of her paycheck in return.
Maternity Leave Has An Expiry Date
A grandma recently took to Reddit to get clarity on whether she was in the wrong for asking for compensation from her daughter for babysitting her grandchild.
She explains that her daughter is 29 with a one-year-old kid. The question came up when it was time for the new mother to return to work.
Parents Prefer A Trusted Babysitter
It's quite common for parents to ask their loved ones for help first before hiring a qualified babysitter. This means a consistently familiar face for the baby.
In this case, the daughter was going to work five days a week, for about seven to eight hours a day. She was only asking her mom to help out two or three days a week.
Grandma Was Only Willing To Babysit With A Salary
The grandma clarified that the issue wasn't about babysitting in general as she loved to spend time with her grandson. It was that she felt as though her time should be compensated.
"I explained to her that I would like a payment of $12/hour. She understood my need for payment."
Grandma Refused To Negotiate
The grandma then explained that her daughter tried to negotiate down to only $10/hour because she claimed that she could not afford $12, even with her $22/hour job. Grandma wasn't willing to budge.
She wrote, "I'm not a daycare, I have my own life..."
Grandma Argued She Can't Work At The Same Time
The reason grandma was so stern was that she works for herself. "I think she should understand that I'd be giving up my time when I work from home, and if I’m going to be giving up that time then I need money to replace that time I’m giving up from my job."
Grandma explained that she can't work and watch the child at the same time.
Mom Even Offered To Provide Food To Make Up Costs
The mom continued to try to negotiate. She said that she was only asking for help two or three days per week, and was going to ask her mother-in-law for help the rest of the days.
She even offered to provide food during her time; however, grandma insisted that despite loving her grandson, she was not a daycare.
Some Didn't Side With Grandma, But It's Not For Asking To Be Paid...
Some Redditors suggested that the grandma was just finding excuses because, in reality, she didn't want to babysit. They said she should've just admitted that.
Plus, many pointed out that the issue wasn't that she was asking for compensation, but how much she was demanding. The mother clearly couldn't afford what she was asking as it would be two-thirds of her paycheck.
Others Thought What Grandma Was Asking Was Fair
Some pointed out that it's not fair to expect grandma to babysit for free when teens and siblings ask for $13/hour to babysit after school and no one bats an eye.
One person said, "Grandma is demanding to be treated as a paid employee providing competent quality childcare services for a 12-month-old infant, and for more hours than 'after school.'" While another said, "A grandparent is not free childcare, so don’t have kids expecting to pawn them off on your aging parents."
They Suggested The Mom Find An Actual Daycare
At the rate of what grandma was asking, many suggested that the mom might as well find an actual daycare.
"At this rate, she could pay a daycare center for a full week of care. I've been searching for care and what I’ve found is anywhere from $145-$300/week," one person posted.
Other Parents Complained About The Costs Of Childcare
Some parents related to the struggle the mom must be facing. One person shared her own story:
"I'll be back to work in January and the in-home I will be sending my son to is $175/week. Which is fine, I’m not complaining about that. But the cost of childcare is really high and I’m not even in that large of a market."