Finding a babysitter can be tough, especially when it's late notice. But hey, if you have an older kid who can look after the youngins, they're probably ALWAYS available and willing to do it, right? Wrong.
This dad recently asked Reddit if he was in the wrong for causing a fight between him and his daughter. In the post, he explains that he tried to take back the money he promised his daughter for her trip after she refused to watch her younger siblings for the evening.
Being The Oldest Can Suck Sometimes
If you were the eldest growing up like I am, you probably were often forced to look after your little siblings whenever your parents went out.
And even though the control is nice, it can become annoying when you have to cancel plans to babysit your siblings when you don't even get paid.
"Reddit, Am I In The Wrong?"
User NO3007635 recently came to Reddit with a dilemma that he was having with his daughter.
He titled the post: "[Am I wrong] for taking back the money I promised my daughter for her trip after she refused to watch her younger siblings for the evening?"
His Teen Daughter Needed Money For A Trip
The father starts off the post by explaining that his daughter Zoey, who is 17, has been planning a trip with her friends for weeks and asked for some money.
The original Redditor poster (OP) agreed to give her around $80, and Zoey appreciated this a lot since she normally pays for trips and other fun things with her own money.
He Wanted Zoey To Babysit On A Night That She Was Busy
"2 days ago was my wife and I wedding anniversary. We planned to go out and celebrate in the evening and I asked Zoey if she could watch her younger siblings (3, 9) while we're out."
Zoey told her dad she had plans that night so she couldn't babysit. She was planning to go to a party to see her best friend off before she moved away. Instead, Zoey suggested her parents find a sitter, but it was too late to find one.
He Took The Money Back
"I tried to convince Zoey to skip going out and watch her brothers but she refused and said my wife and I could stay home and celebrate but I told her we already reserved a table at the restaurant."
"I was getting [angry], so I brought up the trip that I was paying for and told her I will take the money back if she refused to watch her brothers for the evening. I told her no trip then unless she gets the money herself because I'm no longer paying for it."
The Wife Was On Zoey's Side
"She screamed at me calling me unbelievable for taking money back just cause she wanted to attend her best friend's goodbye party and not wanting responsibility for her brothers. I refused to discuss it. I took the kids to my mother's house and left."
The wife, on the other hand, sided with Zoey. She didn't blame her for not wanting to babysit, especially when she had other plans.
Zoey Is Still Really Upset
The dad explains that he was confused, and told his wife that "it's just one evening."
His wife still thought that he punished Zoey over nothing by taking the money that he promised for her trip." And now, Zoey isn't speaking to him and is cold-shouldering him.
A Quick Update
Because he was getting a ton of comments about why they told her so last minute, he gave an explanation at the end of the post:
"I just checked the comments and some were asking why I notified her last minute. The answer is because I assumed she'd be home like usual so I never thought of needing to get a sitter."
Redditors Thought That This Dad Was Being Ridiculous
People were not too pleased with this dad, and pretty much everyone thought that he was being unfair and harsh.
He was ultimately voted as the bad guy in the situation by commenters, so let's get into a couple of reasons why.
"If The Gift Has Strings Attached, You Should Have Made That Clear"
"You're the [bad guy]. Two points. Firstly, if the gift had strings attached, you should have made that clear from the start. Introducing conditions retroactively sets the precedence that your gifts aren't really gifts at all, but tools used to manipulate and control."
"Secondly, you should have provided your daughter with sufficient notice so that she can organize her schedule. What you did shows that you have zero respect for her time and that you expect unquestioning obedience from her." —JDP-Phoenix / Reddit
He Was Using The Money As A Pawn
"He 100% considered that money as basically a retainer. He wasn't giving it to her because he is a loving father who wanted to treat his daughter."
"He was giving it to her to obligate her to him so he could hold it over her head later." —WillfullyUnwoke / Reddit
"Why Is Your Night More Important Than Your Daughter's?"
"The best part is OP said it's only one night and didn't understand why she couldn't either change or cancel her plans.....but OP's plans are set in stone and can't be changed."
"OP is not only the [bad guy], but incredibly selfish as well. Why is your night more important than your daughters?" —ImReverse_Giraffe / Reddit
People Were Embarrassed For Him
"Obviously you're the [bad guy]. As a father, I'm embarrassed you'd even ask. Do you expect your kid to drop everything she had planned to accommodate for your lack of planning?"
"And then you take back her so-called gift because she wouldn't? Dude wtf is wrong with you? It's one thing if she refused for no reason (still taking her trip away would've been a major [jerk] move), but she had a valid reason and even tried coming up with alternatives. Please go apologize, she seems like a good kid." —Lenz12 / Reddit
"He Couldn't Give The Same Respect To His Own Daughter"
"OP gave more respect to his sister and mother, assuming they were busy than his own daughter."
"Even a paid babysitter Zoey's age would require a heads-up to plan accordingly, yet he couldn't even give this same respect to his own daughter?!" —Existing-Dinner5637 / Reddit